"I Didn't Get Sent to the Principal's Office"

Friday August 27^th, 2009

Becca started Kindergarten yesterday. She had been so excited, but as I walked her into the classroom and helped her find her desk I could see fear and panic rest in her eyes. I had worried about this transition for over a year. My Becca is such a tender, gentle soul, and new situations frighten her. She has had too many frightening and heartbreaking transitions in her life. I gave her a “You’ll do great” with a hug and a smile. I knew this would be a test as to how far we’d come, and if she was strong enough to take this step into the next phase of her life.

I worried and wondered how she was during the long three hours. I arrived early, anxious to look into her eyes for the truth about her day. She walked out with a huge grin and sparkly eyes. With relief, I wrapped her in my arms and twirled her around. “How was your first day Becca?” “So Great! I didn’t get sent to the Principal’s office!” I was taken back. I had tried to anticipate her fears about kindergarten and talk through them, but I hadn’t included that on my list. Of all my seven children, I would vote my quiet, timid Becca the least likely to ever end up in the Principal’s office. “Becca were you worried about going to the Principal’s office?” She looked embarrassed and shook her head no, but I could tell the answer was otherwise. We met her friend Lacy coming out of her class. She faced her and intently asked, “Lacy, did you get sent to the Principal’s office?” Lacy looked confused, “No.” “Boy, we were both so lucky! Neither one of us got sent to the Principal’s office!” Then she prattled on about how much she loves her teacher, and the new friend she made, and how fun Kindergarten was going to be. As I dropped her off today for her second day I could see from her eyes, she was ready.

This fragile little girl, who came to us with that ‘deer in the headlights’ look in her eyes, has grown strong, and now she is ready to leave the safety and predictability of Mom, and home to start this next phase of her life. Several Moms have asked if I’m sad to have her go. One part of me is sad, I’ll miss having her all mine, but I also feel joy to see how much her heart has healed, and the strength she has found so that she can move forward in her life.