Seth-One Year Later

We've had our Seth for over a year. It's been a hard year, somedays I wondered if we'd make it. I have felt physically and emotionally stretched and exhausted. But looking back we've had many successes.

We have created an attachment. I believe he has attached to me. He is affectionate, loving, accepting of my love, seeks out snuggles and hugs.

He also is accepting of limits. His behavior isn't always perfect (what kid's is?) but he accepts limits and correction without additional testing or tantrums. This is also a sign of his attachment that he looks to his parents and accepts their boundaries.

He still struggles at times with being over stimulated. He struggles with too much noise or activities, but even that is coming along.

He's moved from spending most of his time on the blanket to having boundaries like-the family room, the sandbox, or the backyard sidewalk.


We're starting to see some authentic emotions. Horseback therapy has really helped with that.

He's empathetic and learning to give and take with his relationships. He calls his brothers and sisters his friends. He's always asking, "When are my friends coming home?" He still delights in button pushing, especially his brothers'. But he's interacting with his 'friends' and they are the most important people in his life.

He is extremely intelligent and has grasped not only language, but many complex thinking processes.

And through it all, he is still happy, enthusiastic about life, elated with every new experience and person to meet. He throws himself at life with enthusiasm and passion. He has lost so much, and suffered much but still his joy has carried him forward.

The journey this year has been hard, stretching us beyond our capacities, but as we snuggle and giggle and he meets my eyes without resistance, and with love I can't imagine a greater reward.

"I Didn't Get Sent to the Principal's Office"

Friday August 27^th, 2009

Becca started Kindergarten yesterday. She had been so excited, but as I walked her into the classroom and helped her find her desk I could see fear and panic rest in her eyes. I had worried about this transition for over a year. My Becca is such a tender, gentle soul, and new situations frighten her. She has had too many frightening and heartbreaking transitions in her life. I gave her a “You’ll do great” with a hug and a smile. I knew this would be a test as to how far we’d come, and if she was strong enough to take this step into the next phase of her life.

I worried and wondered how she was during the long three hours. I arrived early, anxious to look into her eyes for the truth about her day. She walked out with a huge grin and sparkly eyes. With relief, I wrapped her in my arms and twirled her around. “How was your first day Becca?” “So Great! I didn’t get sent to the Principal’s office!” I was taken back. I had tried to anticipate her fears about kindergarten and talk through them, but I hadn’t included that on my list. Of all my seven children, I would vote my quiet, timid Becca the least likely to ever end up in the Principal’s office. “Becca were you worried about going to the Principal’s office?” She looked embarrassed and shook her head no, but I could tell the answer was otherwise. We met her friend Lacy coming out of her class. She faced her and intently asked, “Lacy, did you get sent to the Principal’s office?” Lacy looked confused, “No.” “Boy, we were both so lucky! Neither one of us got sent to the Principal’s office!” Then she prattled on about how much she loves her teacher, and the new friend she made, and how fun Kindergarten was going to be. As I dropped her off today for her second day I could see from her eyes, she was ready.

This fragile little girl, who came to us with that ‘deer in the headlights’ look in her eyes, has grown strong, and now she is ready to leave the safety and predictability of Mom, and home to start this next phase of her life. Several Moms have asked if I’m sad to have her go. One part of me is sad, I’ll miss having her all mine, but I also feel joy to see how much her heart has healed, and the strength she has found so that she can move forward in her life.

Chapters Close, Chapters Open

Saturday August 28, 2009

It’s 10:50 p.m., 50 minutes past my bedtime but instead of drifting off to sleep in my cozy pajamas I’m sitting at my computer listening to sounds from the teenage party in my basement drift up from below. Someone is playing the Pink Panther on my 100 year old, slightly tinny piano, while someone else, with no musical ability at all, is sitting next to the Pink Panther pianist and plunking the top keys without any rhythm or melody. I hear the steady back and forth of the ping pong ball underneath the more intense and electronic sound of the pinball machine. The strumming of a guitar is mixed with teenagers talking. It’s a back to school party, the first party Alex (14 ½) has hosted in our ‘made for teenage parties’ basement. Just two weeks previously Nicole hosted her farewell party with many of her high school friends, before they left for various colleges and jobs and missions.

I remembered how awkward her first basement parties were, and how Derek would come in and out suggesting games and activities to help move them past the awkwardness of young teenagers. I watched how Derek played that role again tonight at Alex's party.

And yet I contrasted those first awkward parties, with Nicole’s farewell party two weeks previously. I had asked her what activities she had planned. “None. We just want to be together. I’ll see friends here and there after this, but we’ll probably not all get together again." They had spent so many happy teenage moments together, and now that chapter was closing.

I took Nicole up weekend before last, to start her life at University. She couldn’t leave home fast enough, and I remember being 18 and feeling that same urgency to try life on my own. Derek asked me the night before she left, "Is she ready?" "Yes" I answered with confidence. She's such an amazing young women, mature, level headed and solid in knowing who she is. I know there will be life's lesson to be learned, and wisdom to be gained, but we feel like she has everything she needs to succeed. I feel confident in launching her off into the world. She went to school with her good friend who will now be her roommate. They are going to have an amazing time.

She has spent the last year working with children who are emotionally disturbed, most of whom have attachment disorders. She has loved it so much and so has decided to major in special education. She has such a gift and patience to work with these children. I feel that God has been putting forth experiences to prepare her for life. I can't wait to watch her life unfold.

I thought I’d include a few pictures of her at her new dorm.

Before Move In


"Well, we've got in all in here, just not sure where we're gonna sleep"



"Now we're feeling a bit more settled"

"You mean six girls gotta share this bathroom?!"

Dobson "Daily" is a misnomer

I've decided that "Dobson Daily" is a gross misnomer for this blog. I should have called this the Dobson annual, or something less ambitious than the Dobson Daily. It's been so long since I've posted, not that life has gone awry, but only that the craziness of a family of nine, often crowds out all but the most essential of activities. (And even then sometimes laundry and dishes doesn't even make it into the daily 'to do' list. So I'm back blogging for the moment, but with no promises about posting "Daily" or even annually.