"I don't know who these people are, but at least they've got food!!!": June 30th

We began the morning with breakfast buffet. Seth-Siyuan was quite pleased with the unlimited food. We heard his first words as he pointed to what he wanted to eat and said, "Je-ge" which means "this". Over and over he would point, "Je-ge," "Je-ge". He ate eggs, sausage, noodles, fried rice, watermellon and mango juice. I finally had to just stop feeding him, because he had eaten so much and didn't show any signs of stopping. He might give Gregory a run for his money in the food department. It makes me so sad to think of children who go hungry, children who never get enough to eat. He looks plenty healthy with good fat on his body, but still he must not get as much food as he wants. The last few bites he didn't swallow and kept in his cheek for several hours.


We spent most of today at the Civil Affair Office. This morning we were interviewed about Siyuan and our motivations for adopting. We had to swear to not abandon him, to educate him and to love him like our biological children. We signed lots of paperwork and then the adoption was finalized. This afternoon we returned (and sat waiting for 3 hours) while the paperwork was typed up and finished, and we signed a few more papers.

For this morning's paperwork the orphanage director had to be there and so his nanny was there too. He went right to her, and I was happy he could be with her for a little bit longer. She held him and loved him and kept telling him that we were his new parents, and he had to listen to us and be a good little boy. When it came time for them to catch the train back to Baoji we let her hold him and say goodbye. She cried. So did I. Then I took him from her and we waved goodbye. He cried and cried, "Ma-ma, ma-ma!". Talk about break your heart. We just took him away from the only family and home he's ever known. In the end it's for the best, but she just lost one of her children, and he lost his mama. What a tender and bittersweet moment for all of us.


We came home inbetween our morning paperwork and afternoon paperwork and let Seth play with Legos and then take a nap. He let me hold and snuggle and sing to him and feed him a bottle. How brave of him to let me love him when his heart had just been ripped out.

Tonight we went to a famous jaudz restaurant. I guess mostly famous to the Chinese because there was no English on the menu, but we had fun ordering, Thank goodness for Derek's Chinese. The jaudz were to die for and I wish all of my kids could have been here, since Jaudz are our thing. Seth was quite happy to get more food. He snacked all afternoon while we waited at the government offices, but that didn't slow him down tonight. He didn't really care for the tofu noodles, but then neither did the rest of us, but he liked everything else.

Alex enjoyed eating the leftover garlic from our stir-fried cucumber dish. He ate four cloves at once. We hope not to get too close to him tomorrow.

This picture is taken outside the jaudz restaurant. In the background is the 1000 year old bell tower. These old bells are still rung twice a day at 8a.m. and 6p.m.




After dinner we went for a walk in one of the local markets. Talk about ambience! Our favorite find was a vendor selling an assortment of crickets all in cages. This cage was a double decker cage with two crickets. Remember Mulan and the lucky cricket? We didn't know they still kept pet crickets?! (sorry about the underline, can't seem to get it off of here)


We are all falling so in love with Siyuan. We asked his nanny about his personality. She said he is easy going and open minded. He does seem pretty easy going. He still prefers his Daddy, but if his Daddy isn't in site he'll tolerate me, and he's not fought me at all on rocking him to sleep. He is so sweet. He's starting to talk a bit, and it's adorable to hear his Chinese. I tickled him and he laughed and laughed. We don't get a lot of smiles, but many times you see a hint, but he's holding back. One of my sad moments was while waiting for the paperwork to be done I was walking with him outside. An elderly couple came up and were asking me questions like, "Are you adopting him?" "Where are you from?" I was doing my best in my limited Chinese. Then they asked me if he was born with part of his arm missing. I told them he was. Then the two of them began talking amongst themselves about his arm. I looked down and he had pulled his arm totally inside his shirt, hiding it from view. We immediately left, but it tugged at my heart to see him already so self-conscious about his arm. It's been fun for us to see how well he uses it. He's quite adept at using it for many functions that you would a hand. We all love his little arm, but mostly our love for him has grown so much in 24 hours. We feel almost overwhelmed with it, and are delighting in getting to know him. We can't wait to watch as his personality unfolds. Truly, The Journey is the Reward.

We have our Seth-Siyuan: June 29th

Finally we have our Seth-Siyuan. We arrived at the Civil Affairs office at 6:00. He was sitting there on the nannies lap. I had brought a fun car which I would wind the wheels and it would roll towards him. He couldn’t resist it, and pretty soon he and I were on the floor playing together with the car. Then I brought out snacks. He sat on my lap for quite a while. I had made a mixture of gold fish, cheerios, and kix. He tried each of them and decided he liked the goldfish best. Then he sat and picked out all the gold fish and put them in my hand. Things were going well and then his nanny came and said goodbye. He started to wail, and she left and then he really cried and cried calling after her Ma-Ma Ma-Ma. It broke my heart and he begged me in Chinese to put him down so he could go after her, but she was gone. He sobbed until Derek came back from signing paperwork and then he went right to him and stopped crying. That was it, the rest of the evening he would only let Derek hold him and though he looked sad he didn’t cry again. He loved the juice we gave him and kept munching on the snacks. When we returned to the hotel we ordered him some Congee (rice porridge) and he ate half the bowl. He was getting so sleepy and the guide was in our room having Derek fill out more paperwork. I tried to feed him a bottle but he could hardly keep his eyes open. He let me hold him and I wrapped him in his new cuddly blanket and he fell right to sleep. I had to hold him for another hour and a half it felt so good.

Things went better than I expected, but we’ll see what tomorrow brings when he wakes up in a strange place with strange people. He is so beautiful and so sweet. The orphanage director said he’s very well behaved and intelligent, but I couldn’t tell if that was the standard party line or if it was genuine. I hadn’t asked, but when he was walking by us he stopped and told me that in Chinese. The orphanage gave us a picture book with pictures from when he was a baby ‘till now. They also gave us a bag of soil from Baoji so he could also have a piece of his homeland to take with him. It felt so right, to finally have him and hold him. I didn’t even mind that he took to Derek. Becca wouldn’t have a thing to do with Derek so I guess it’s his turn to be the MFP (Most Favored Parent). I was so glad Nicole & Alex could be a part of it. One was running the cam-corder and the other the camera so I didn’t end up with many pictures with them because I was so absorbed in Seth-Siyuan. I can hardly wait to now start this journey and see what it will bring.

Church in Xian: June 29th

Today was a nice peaceful day and the preparation we needed to get Seth-Siyuan. We leave in 45 minutes!

We found a small branch where we could attend church this afternoon. They met on the 2^nd floor of the University guest house. There were 17 of us, since we upped their numbers by 4, it was a pretty small group. There was one man who does business here, his family is gone for the summer on home leave. There were 3 couples who are on an exchange program with B.Y.U. who are teaching at the universities here in Xian. There were five college aged students who are either studying or teaching English here in China. Then there was Amanda. Because of the small numbers at church we were enlisted. Derek was asked to bless the Sacrament, Alex was able to pass it. Nicole prayed. It was so small and intimate, and amazing that we could be in the middle of Xian China and still feel such a connection to people we didn’t know because we shared a common faith. It was good to recenter and focus myself.

I’ve known of Amanda for almost 2 years. She is called the Chinese Starfish lady even though she is white and from South Africa. She runs a foster home for children who have severe special needs, or who are dying and need more intensive care than the traditional orphanage can give them. She takes them out of the orphanage and cares for them until they can be adopted. She is an inspiring, loving and energetic lady committed to make a difference, one child at a time. Check her out at the following links.

http://chinesestarfish.blogspot.com
www.chinesestarfish.org

Amanda spoke and talked about how in God’s eyes, each of us have value. She talked about how our son Siyuan in the eyes of his birth parents and his country he has no value because he is missing part of his arm. But to us, his soon to be new family he will become a beloved son, and a cherished member of our family. She likened this to how many people in this world are figuratively discarded or discounted, maybe because of the way they look, or because of their status, but to a Heavenly Father, each of us are his child, and beloved and of incredibly worth.

She then told us her story: In September 13, 2005 I was a 44 year old spinster living and teaching in China. By 10:30 that morning I had 10 kids. It all began when I was asked, ‘Amanda, what is your greatest dream?’ I answered I wanted to open an orphanage in China. I guess God was listening because before I knew it, my dream was handed to me. Now I heal their bodies, but more importantly they come to me and I have to heal their broken hearts. I want these children to know and to feel that they are not throw away children, that with me they have value. That because someone left them, and considered them of no worth, that is not what defines them.

Listening to her, thinking of the Savior and taking time to slow down. What a perfect Sunday. And now we’re going to leave. I can hardly wait!!!

Beijing, Shop 'till you drop

Aren’t these two so much fun!!!

We didn’t have any structured activities today so we spent a lot of the day wandering. Our first stop was the shard box store. During the cultural revolution (1966-1976) the red guards set out to destroy anything that smacked of history, wealth, or prominence. Among other things, they would go into homes smashing porcelain pottery. Many families, not wanting to be labeled as traitorous, would break any pottery they had. So many items of cultural and historical significance were destroyed at this time. After the revolution some people collected the remaining shards of pottery. They took the broken shard, and wrapped silver around the edges, making it into a jewelry box.

I first saw these shard boxes when I lived in Hong Kong around 1994. I found the box, a metaphor for the Chinese people and their resiliency. Their life has been shattered and broken so many times, yet they seem to take the broken pieces and create something new and beautiful. No it’s not the life of wholeness that it once was, but none the less they move forward and even do so with joy and optimism and courage. So I had wanted to buy one of these boxes while here in Beijing. The one I chose has the double happiness character. Happiness shattered, but refit; wrapped in silver, shaped to something new, but still in the end ‘double happiness’.

We went to a place called the Silk Market. Beijing constantly amazes us. 20 years ago there were hardly any shops except the state fun ‘friendship stores’. Service was pathetic if existent at all. At the silk market was 7 floors of shops, all privately owned. Shop owners would call for us to come look at their goods, bargaining vigorously and competitively. Nicole found a sweatshirt (Abercrombie and Fitch) that started out at $60U.S. Derek fought hard, even walking away twice, but bought the sweatshirt for $13. The kids had so much fun just walking through the shops and watching us bargain. But it’s NOT capitalism. Deng Xiao Ping made a famous statement when he received criticism that his economic reforms looked like capitalism. “It doesn’t matter if the cat is black or white as long as it catches mice! Well, let’s just say that many mice are being caught in the new economic reforms which have swept China.

The Great Wall & Summer Palace

Today was lots of fun. We began our day climbing the great wall in rain and mist. Now when I say climb, I mean turn your legs to jelly climbing. The pictures can’t begin to capture the view, or the hike. My family teases me that it’s not a vacation if Mom doesn’t make us take at least one hike. We all agreed today qualifies for our hike. The wall was connected, all 3000 miles of it in 200 B.C. It’s mind boggling the 2000 year history, the cost in human suffering and human life to build it, the power of the emperor to accomplish such a feat without modern machinery, simply an army of workers.

We also enjoyed the opulence and excess of the imperial family as we toured the Summer Palace. You don’t have to spend very long to see the disparity between the rich and the poor throughout thousands of years of Chinese history. No wonder they embraced Mao and his promise of an equal society. When you’re on the working, suffering, slaving for others end of things, why wouldn’t you follow those who offered you land, hope, opportunity, and change. I probably would have marched with them, at least for a while until it turned sour.

We toured a cloisonné factory, marveling at the attention to detail, the methodical and patient painstaking work and craftsmanship still so evident in much of Chinese work.

Tonight we went to “Old Beijing” and enjoyed a bit of the more traditional look of Beijing, along with some fun tourist shopping. We are enjoying our time with Nicole and Alex. They’ve been lots of fun. Tomorrow afternoon we fly to Xian. We are getting so anxious to finally meet Siyuan. Two more days!

Beijing, Then & Now

It was exactly 20 years ago, Summer of 1988, when Derek and I, newly married and in our early twenties decided to backpack through China. It was the first year China allowed individual travelers to come to China, and even then it was only in certain parts. Previously you had to travel in an organized group. I can’t believe my parents let me go. We were greener than green, naïve and stupid enough to pack our backpacks, hop on a plane and show up in China. In the Southern part, China had allowed a test economic program. Between that and our ability to speak Cantonese we found it easy to travel there. Then we hopped on a plane from Nanning and flew to Beijing. We were in for a challenging experience. Beijing was grey. Grey skies, grey buildings, grey clothes. It seemed that everyone wore the same guarded, impassive face. Everything was the color of communism, and the color was grey. There were very few cars on the roads, but thousands and thousands of bicycles. We had a difficult time finding a place to stay, “No foreigners allowed” we were told over and over again. They would point us toward the expensive international hotels but they didn’t know we were on a budget. We only had $1500 for 2 months, and that included airfare, food, hotels & transportation. We were also hungry. In the south restaurants were plentiful, but we couldn’t find places to eat in Beijing. We were going through our beef jerky and cheese and crackers that we had brought at a rapid rate. We finally found a restaurant one evening. We went there at 7:10 but were told, “Sorry, we’re closed.” What time are you open tomorrow? 5-7 p.m. We made sure to be there right at 5:00. We were hungry. We entered and saw workers standing around, but no one invited us to have a seat. Finally we walked in and took our own seat. We were the only people in what was a very large restaurant. We found our own menu and hungrily selected what we wanted. No one came out. Derek finally went to the kitchen and asked for someone to come and take our order. “We’ll have a #13 & a #21.” “Sorry, we have none of those” “O.K. how about #7 & #11” “Sorry, none of those either.” We were their first and only customers so we were somewhat surprised. Finally after receiving the same response several times, in exasperation we asked, “What DO you have” “#9”. All right, we’ll take two of those. “Sorry, only have 1”.

Twenty years later, we couldn’t believe Beijing. It is such a cosmopolitan city. Skyscrapers, glitzy buildings and shopping malls. Young people dressed in the latest trends wearing bright colors. So many cars and taxis. Still some bikes, but not like before. People looked alive, optimistic, thriving. We saw the same sites, the Forbidden City, still enormous and impressive. We went to the Temple of Heaven. It’s mind boggling to think what was created hundreds of years ago, with sheer grit, creativity and enormous man power. We were able to see Mao in his glass coffin. When we came 20 years ago, the line to see his body wound all the way through Tianmen square, and we weren’t that desperate to see him. Today we were in and out in 15 minutes. The official party line is “Mao did 70% good and 30% bad.” I don’t think he was quite as popular as he was 20 years ago, but still we saw people leave flowers and get quite emotional passing by him.

We went to the Acrobat show tonight. It was spectacular. Nicole and Alex continue to draw attention and people ask to have their picture taken with them. I think Nicole is both embarrassed and flattered by all the young men staring, gawking, admiring and following her. One poor waiter about dropped the bowl of soup he was carrying as he walked in, looked up and saw her. I’m sure he was humiliated as he was backing up (so as not to take his eyes off of her) and tripped over the waitress. Way to make an impression.

It’s so fun to be here with Alex & Nicole. They’ve been such great and willing travelers. Tonight we went to a fabulous food court with dozens of restaurants. You could choose from hundreds of foods (All from different parts of China), and then they’d cook them right there for you. It was fun and they’ve tried everything we’ve thrown at them. No ugly American syndrome for these kids.

Three days until we get Seth, we’re getting so anxious! It’s only 9:30 but the rest of the family is asleep. I better head to bed myself, but I wanted to make sure there was something for my kids to see and read this morning. We love you and miss you.

Anhui Cleft Healing Home

We had the sweetest day at the Cleft Healing Home. This home has been built and sponsored by Love Without Boundaries. When children with cleft lip and palate are brought to orphanages, it is very difficult for most of the orphanages to take care of these children. Their open palate makes it difficult for them to eat and thus gain weight, and they need more one on one care to give them intensive feeding.

Because the nanny to child ratio in most orphanages is pretty high, 1 nanny to 29-30 children, there is no way she can feed a cleft affected baby as consistently as they need to thrive. These babies also need special bottles. The cleft healing home is the first built, and is designed as a place where the babies can be brought so they can have more 1 on 1 attention and feeding. Once the babies get to 10-12 lbs (usually takes between 3 & 6 months) they have their surgery and then return to the home for 1 month while they recover. They are then sent back to the orphanage where their paperwork can be processed for adoption. The home can take 12 babies at a time and has 4 nannies to care for them. For Alex’s Eagle project he collected donations and bought special bottles for cleft affected children because they can not be purchased in China. We delivered five of these cases today (the rest will go to Xian) to the Cleft Healing Home.

We delivered the bottles and spent several hours holding and playing with the babies. You could tell how loved they were and how happy and healthy they are. Director Zhang Ming was so impressive and you could tell how dedicated he is to these children. The babies smiled and cooed and talked with us. It was so fun to hold so many of these babies. When we left Becca’s orphanage two years ago I cried, feeling so much grief and despair for those babies and all their losses, for all the love they weren’t getting, for all their needs that went un-met. Leaving today was joyful, knowing that these babies were given the greatest gift, more important than the nutrition they receive, or the surgeries they’ll get, is to be in a place where when they cry someone picks them up, when they’re scared someone comes. A place where people know them, people love them and care for them, there is someone who smiles, and notices when they smile back. This home is the first of its kind in China. I wish I had the money or the power to put one of these homes in every Province in China.